Our Life: Part 7


How Can I Go On

 

I’m waiting, wishing,

Sitting in a room of memories,

Seconds slowly pass, time`s pace is cruel.

My mind wanders

Thoughts of her haunting me once again

The ghosts of memory,

I shake

I don’t want these feelings

These thoughts anymore.

My mind tormented constantly.

Why can I not escape?

She has gone,

My mind will not yield

Refusing to let go.

She enters,

I am baffled yet elated

Yet she takes no notice of me,

Am I… a shadow?

A spectre of memory?

She was my forever.

This was the last piece in the Our Life series. I hope you enjoyed them. Here is the full collection in one place. Please feel free to leave a comment if the mood strikes!

Our Life: Part 6


Gone, Where I Cannot Follow

 

A four letter word, can I say it?

It haunts me,

She is always on my mind.

Her

Without I feel empty

Reduced to a phantom,

She gives me heart

A soul, meaning.

I want to tell her with every fibre of me.

Life left to never return

Never again will she hear

The four letter word.

Our Life: Part 5


The Next Step

 

I open the door, already a smile on my face,

I am home.

I see her, a smile spreads over her

Tears come to her eyes

I bring her close, hold her tight.

We breathe each other in

I can feel the weight in my pocket

I kneel and look up, her beautiful eyes stare back.

A breath

She breaks,

Death leaves her lips.

Our world is shattered.

 

Our Life: Part 4


A Perfect Pair

 

I look at her,

Happiness overtakes her,

I can’t look away.

My stare attempts to see

Everything, remember everything.

Life made simple with her

Life is for her, without I would be nothing

A shadow.

I need her

Desire her

She alone is my perfection.

Life is her.

I hold her close,

I love her.

Never will I leave her.

 

In The Night…


I lay in bed, the harsh light from my computer illuminates my face. Darkness surrounds me. I must have lost track of time. I’ve been down here for so long. I slowly stand, blood rushes to my head and stars cross my vision, the dizziness dissipates and eventually I make my way out of my room. I peer out the glass doors, the invisible guardians that keep the world out there. As I stare at the trees movement causes a light to illuminate the backyard, birds scramble off the feeder, escaping the light as quickly as possible. Squirrels sit, staring back at the light, staring back at me. A figure moves, a shadow, just out of the lights reach. It moves down the gentle slope towards the lake. I stare, hard. The shape looks familiar, almost human like, but its movements are animalistic. Suddenly its head turns and its eyes are illuminated, huge glaring eyes.

I shudder and tell myself it wasn’t real. I explore the house looking for the dog, I need someone to distract me. I find her soon enough and she follows me back to my room. As we lay in bed I pet her, and soon we have both drifted off into a realm of dreams.

I wake to an eyeful of sunlight trying its best to muscle its way into the room, through the inadequate blinds. The dog, Frey, wakes as I begin to get out of bed. I make my way to the kitchen for breakfast, she of course follows, knowing scraps will surely follow a meal. The day continues as normal, I write and read and we go for a walk. As we stroll through the forest I find myself continuously looking around, I am wary and can’t stop my mind from returning to the odd figure of the previous night.

The day runs its course and once again I am in bed, the hours disappearing into the night. Frey suddenly stirs, her ears on alert, she bolts out of bed and runs to the doors. I curiously follow and we both stare out into the murky black of night. Shadows move and fall, a loud bark breaks the silence, I almost jump out of my skin. Frey must see, or smell something. Her tail falls between her legs, she barks once more. She looks up at me, I feel as if I can see terror in her eyes, her whines break the silence. My nerves starting to fray, I grab a flashlight and point it towards the lake. Yet again I am forced to stare just beyond the light’s reach.

The figure suddenly appears, it’s odd gate making it easier to spot. It moves again towards the lake. This time I decide to grab an axe and venture out into the dark. I open the doors as quietly as I can and slowly begin walking towards it. My eyes adjust quickly to the moonlight. As I near the creature, I begin to smell it, a stench, almost of death. The creature seems to be drinking, or eating. It is crouched by the water, with what seems to be a fish in its hands.

For some reason, which I still cannot understand, I yell, I scream at it to get away, to leave. Startled it turns to face me, its eyes glaring, it seems just as terrified as me. We stare at each other, neither of us moving. I raise my axe, yell and charge.

It shies away, giving in, then it turns and awkwardly lopes away.

Never again have I seen that strange creature.

Our Life: Part 3


Her

 

The veil of darkness is slowly pulled back

Dawn has arrived.

Warmth, comfort and happiness surround me.

These sheets hold me forever

Just as the warm body next to me does.

We are one.

I, no longer a shadow.

A perfect moment

I relish it, savouring each second

Lids close as sleep calls to me yet again

Darkness returns,

Beautiful dreams await.

Our Life: Part 2


Then Comes a Kiss

 

Soft and warm,

Red and luscious,

A lock of velvet.

They near each other

My heart pounds, hands shake,

A moment has never caused

Such turmoil within me,

My hands move of their own volition, as if confused.

We near each other

Time crawls forward,

The moment lasting forever

Excitement and terror writhes through me.

Finally,

We touch.

The pounding ceases, baffled hands become calm,

The lock has found the key

Everything is right.

Our Life: Part 1


Beginning with a Crush

 

I am kept awake by thoughts of you,

When I finally succumb

I am tortured

Dreams are filled with your touch, your eyes.

Moments we are near I am but a spectre

Your eyes see through me

My words fall to a vacant stare

How is it you are on my mind constantly yet I am never on yours?

I am resolved,

I cannot be a shadow in your world any longer

I will act, I must.

Need drives me

I ask,

The weight lifts

The answer comes

My heart soars, my eternal smile erupts

Your words echo my thoughts.

I am yours.

Longing


Artist Jenn Grossman

Artist: Jenn Grossman

Days move slowly, I sit in my chair staring at ‘work’. The dull gray of the day seeps into everything. The screen in front of me illuminates the stagnant space in which I spend hour after hour. I am always waiting. Time is always my enemy.

I wait for love, I wait for happiness, I wait for the next distraction, anything that can take me away from this dull inescapable life.

The wait is always torture, I say to myself ‘only so many days left, only so many hours’ or ‘tomorrow it will be better, next week will be better, next year will be better’. Problems persist and my life goes on, unchanging. ‘Tomorrow will be better’.

I sit here, waiting, the next distraction is only ‘a month, a week, a day’ away. Upon arrival my life will change, the grey will be replaced by vibrance and colour will come back into my world.

Alas, it never does.

I sit here, waiting, once again finding myself staring, this time at paper instead of a glaring screen. Distractions abound and I cannot remember my purpose. My hand moves of its own volition. The pencil dashing across the page, white pristine paper replaced by lines of grey. An image begins to form, my mind awakening from slumber. Excitement sparks through my limbs. I am creating!

The wait is over.

Seriously, What Happened to Co-op?


Does anyone else look back and reminisce about co-op? I have such fond memories, having a friend or two over and turning on the Xbox and working together, exploring worlds together, rather than simply racing or fighting or shooting one another. Why is co-op so rare now a days? Does no one else enjoy playing with someone rather than against them? The only game I can think of that has come out recently is Diablo that offers a co-op experience. The focus of multiplayer has changed to competitive, pitting players against each other. Don’t get me wrong, I have zero problem with this, I thoroughly enjoy games like Call of Duty, Battlefield and Titanfall, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy co-op.

Dorkly’s – The Age of Multiplayer

Why are developers ignoring co-op? A game like Assassins Creed seems like a perfect co-op type game to me, there is a multiplayer aspect to it as is, it seems to me, it wouldn’t be terribly difficult to include a co-operative section to the game. The most recent installment, Black Flag could have been especially interesting, imagine traversing the vast open ocean and coming across a fellow player’s pirate ship only to team up and begin pillaging the high seas together! Sounds f**king awesome no?

UPDATE: AC Unity will have co-op, apparently Ubisoft realized how right I was, and decided to include it in their most recent addition to the massive franchise. Which reinforces this idea of co-op being a good thing, which we need more of.

Some of my favourite co-op games include, Gears of War, Borderlands, Minecraft and Diablo. These games all do co-op well and it never feels shoe-horned in, which is definitely important. There are however many games which co-op could be included and it would add to the experience rather than take away. I used to consider myself a lone-wolf type of gamer, especially with shooters, however last year I began to play in a group, five or six of us would play together fairly regularly and it was so much more fun. I had no idea what I was missing out on. Now I almost always play with at least someone else because it’s just so much better. I love playing with a couple friends, why not make it so that we can work together?

Diablo 3’s main characters

Borderlands 2, 4 main characters

Borderlands both 1 and 2 did a great job of making co-op easy and awesome, similar to Diablo. Playing with people was not only more enjoyable but it helped your character, you gained experience faster and had a better chance of finding upper tier items. Why these types of games are not more common baffles me, hopefully in the coming months and years we will see more games like this or at least including a form of this. Games like Assassins Creed and Battlefield and even Skyrim could become even better with an inclusion of co-op.

Online multiplayer seems to be the main culprit for the decline in couch gaming (playing with friends on the same couch). The rise of online gaming should not mean that splitscreen or local multiplayer is not important. My favourite gaming experiences often involve a group of my friends and I playing together all on the same couch, whether it be against each other or working together. I think that co-op gaming online is good, however I don’t think it is as good as the local alternative. Too often online co-op is offered with no local option, this simply does not cut it. I don’t want to have to have multiple consoles and copies of a game in order to play with my friend, if they don’t have the console then we can’t play together.  Online co-op and the idea of playing together through the internet is basically what ended local multiplayer, I guess the idea being why bother leaving your couch to play on someone else’s. I see the appeal, but at the same time, it’s just not the same. There are singleplayer games and there are multiplayer games, social gaming has transformed from people being in the same room to no one playing in the same room. The social side of gaming is one of the best aspects of the pass time, I really hope games like Diablo 3 and others like it show developers it should not be done away with.

Diablo 3, 4 people one screen

A New Job… New Life… and the Desiccation of the Internet


I just started a new job a few weeks ago, right after I got back after a few weeks of travel, basically… I have been busy. I have also moved in that time, to place, out in the forest… Waaay out in the forest, the closest anything is an hours drive away. Suffice to say, my internet connection is limited and pathetic at best. I will be in this predicament for the next four months, so I apologize now for my lack of posting, I am sure you my wonderful reader will understand, or maybe not, who knows. Just know, I will keep writing and being creative, whether or not I will be able to post much.

The Big E


E3 only comes once a year, this week it has been in full swing and basically all my attention is focused on it. I just can’t get enough of all these new and exciting games. I have watched all the major briefings and there is just so much to be excited for. I new the near future was full of games but this is crazy, I have seen 20 games which I feel like I have to buy! My wallet hates me right now, and it’s going to hate me more in the next few months.

If you play games or consider yourself a gamer… and you DON’T know E3 check it the fuck out right now!

Gaming as an industry is definitely not dying, if there was ever a worry of that (which there was a few months ago, around the time of the new console launches) it is certainly not true. If E3 is any indication gaming is bigger and stronger than ever. I am so happy and so looking forward to the future of the industry.

 

Published!… sort of…


I recently started writing for the website Screenrobot.com, if you are interested in technology, film, tv or gaming I strongly recommend taking a look. It is a great site, with lots of talented writers, plus me. 

Here are two of my articles which were posted this past week.

http://screenrobot.com/halo-tv-show-last-thing-xbox-one-needs/

 
I plan on writing a lot more, both for this blog, Screenrobot and anywhere else that will have me.
 
Feel free to let me know what you think of the articles with comments!